Peace In Me

Every day in Uganda I am growing closer with these people. My heart is becoming bigger by the second. I have to say I am dreading the day that we leave because I know that it's going to be the end of a life changing trip, although I know it wont be the end of change in my life. I have loved every single moment being here. I completely forgot to inform you that my ticket has been changed and Robyn and I are now here until July 20th. God has provided, and I believe that He has a purpose for keeping us here for this time in our lives. My mind has been working constantly and it's sometimes hard to remember that I need a moment alone with God. I use to think of life very differently then I do today. I know that God has plans for my future and I am willing to do whatever He ask's of me. I have so many plans and idea's for my future, but I only have so much control over what really takes place. God has blessed me with so much, and it is very special to me because I know I dont deserve all that He has given me. Robyn and I recently spent a night at Sera's with her boys. We have had so many great memories here, but I have to admit that so far, that time we spent with those boys has been my absolute favorite. Every single one of those boys has touched my heart so seriously, they will never know what it has meant to me. They kept us up until 6am just chatting, dancing, teasing, playing games and just spending time together. For those of you who dont know, my dearest aunt Sera has taken in 20 boys from the street. They range from ages 4 to 17, and they are the most loving boys you will ever know. Sera is such an amazing mother to them and she has inspired me beyond all comparison. How many people would have the patience and heart to live in a house and care for 20 young growing boys? I ask you all to pray that God will provide all the needs that this kind of work requires.

My sister and I are having the experience of a lifetime. When we were young girls we wanted to spend every day with our grandparents. When I was 9 years old and Robyn was 8, we use to spend the night at Momm & Papa's almost every Sunday night. Monday morning one of us would go to school with Papa (when he was a teacher) and the other would spend the day with Momm playing with her hair and helping around the house. Our grandparents have been so important to us growing up. It amazes me that the four of us get to grow with each other. We are learning so much about one another and about our Father. As a young girl I have always wanted to be like my Papa. I have always watched the way he did things, and how he loved people so much. Papa was so good with us kids. He always knows how to make us laugh, and he said yes to EVERYTHING. When Momm would teach me about protecting my heart and tell me how important and special I was, I knew that one day I would do the same thing with my children and grandkids and she was showing me the perfect way to do that. When we were little girls Momm would have little tea

parties with us, then let us play with her hair, and once in a while she would let us do her make up (when she didn't plan on seeing anyone that day). I started to grow up and live a wild life and I became careless with the things I was doing. I have always been afraid to tell my Momm & Papa who I was, because I didn't want to disappoint them ... they were my hero's. I didn't want them to know I was a failure. God has done so much in me and i know He loves me no matter what my past is. Today they both know everything about my life that I swore I would never tell them. They love me no matter what my past is. So many breaks and tares in my heart have been mended and healed.

Dear Momm & Papa,

thank you for loving me. Thank you for being the best you can be. God has blessed me and taught me many things through you. You are so special to me. We are in the right place at the right time with the right people. This was God's plan. I am encouraged by you both every day whether you know it or not. I love you SO SO SO much it makes me cry, because I know you love me the same. I hope one day you will see how much it means to me.

God is a forgiving God. He has saved my life. He has protected me. He has taken my burdens. He has accepted me with o

pen arms. He reminds me every day that I am loved and He reminds me every day to share that love.

I Love You!

By: Robyn Ann

With the help of my sister, I am going to try to explain my walk with God. I went through a variety of lifestyles to get to where I am now. As young kids, we grew up as a Christian family. The beliefs of our family slowly evolved to a somewhat New-Age philosophy. I felt comfortable changing my beliefs because the relationships I had with people were more important to me then my relationship with God. It was easy to give up on the Christian religion because I had never experienced a real encounter with God. As time went on and I got deeper in the beliefs of the New-Age Philosophy I started to feel like I didn't have any drive or motivation. I didn't talk to anyone about all the real things that were going on inside of me because I believed that I had to deal with everything on my own. I didn't talk to close friends or even family about the serious things that were taking place, and a lot of times I didn't even acknowledge that there was a battle going on in me. I denied a lot of feelings and thoughts I had so that I would feel good, and eventually it got to the point where I didn't even notice the battle or the fact that I wasn't truly happy. After my parents separated my life changed and I felt like my eyes were opened up to what was actually going on in me. For a while I tried not to let my life change because the relationships I had were too important, and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Then I began to feel like I didn't know what to do, I wanted to keep my relationships and I wanted everyone to be happy with me. I felt stuck so I just continued being quiet about everything and tried to figure it our for myself; which I didn't really do on purpose, it was more of a subconscious thing. All along there were people who tried to help me and encourage me. I didn't feel like I needed it because I was "happy" and everything was fine. Since then things have changed for me. Coming to Uganda wasn't planned to be a trip that would change me and make me different... but it has. Blair and I both felt like this was just going to be a trip with our grandparents. We knew it would be fun and we were excited, but didn't really think it would be anything super special. I love Uganda and my love grows stronger each day, but the love I feel for Uganda didn't hit me all at once. I love the people, the experiences, and the love for Jesus that I get to see in people all the time. I think that is why I love it so much, spending time with the people and seeing Jesus in them ... it really encourages me to find God and to seek him first. I feel like since being here I have actually begun to find him, I feel a different kind of peace and happiness in me that I never felt or even knew before. The love I have right now is not as much with the location as it is with God. I am happy to be here and I love experiencing all of this trip with my sister and best friend Blair. My walk with God grows stronger, better, and bigger each new day. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with God, it is different and better than before. He is better than I could ever imagine! This trip has been life changing for me, and I am happy to say that it is not over. I hope that I will only grow closer to God, that is what I am focusing on. God is my healer and provider. Psalm 18:2 "The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety."

Who Am I?

I regularly hear Papa say, "it's not what you do [that defines you], but it's who you are". After hearing him say this to multiple people, I took a second and found myself asking the question 'who am i?'. We often ask the question 'what did I do?', or we glorify ourselves by saying 'I did that'. Instead of humbling ourselves, and keeping quiet before God, we praise ourselves and shout so that everyone can hear the great things we have done or, are doing. It's good for me to be ashamed of myself for not glorifying God and praising Him for the great things He has done through me, and taking the credit as my own. Why does is matter what we do? If God doesn't look at the great things we accomplish, then who's acceptance are we looking for? We aren't perfect beings, and we have lots and lots of room to grow. Christ loves watching His children grow. Slowly by slowly I am finding out who I am. When I came to Uganda, it wasn't to see what I could do for this country. Being here I have found a part of myself. This is who I am, I am a teacher and a learner, I am a daughter and a sister, I am a failure and an achiever, I am caring and judging, and I am a follower if Jesus Christ. God has blessed me with a heart of love for people. Today I picked up little Moses and squeezed him and I almost cried because of how much love I felt for the little guy. I have always been an affectionate person and it is my way of showing love. We all need to know that we are loved. God's love for us is forever, undying, unfailing, inexplainable, undeniable, and for eternity. No one can love like our Father. Can you love the one who steals from you, would you love the one who speaks ill of you, will you love the one who betrays you, do you love the one who looks you in the eyes and says "we will kill you!"? Through all the choices I made, places I went, things I said, Jesus loves me still. Who am I? I have been in the deeps of this world, I have seen and felt the raw creation of men, yet that is not who I am. I have succeeded many goals and accomplished high expectations, still that is not who I am. I am who God has made me to be, and I am still on my way to reaching all that He has for me. I am born again. I am living life, and Christ lives through me. I am His follower and He is my leader. Growing up I was afraid to find out who I was, because I knew I fell short of the expectations of this world by who a Christian "should be". Eventually I gave up on trying to be accepted, and in the end I gave up on trying to mold myself to the religious rules of Christianity. By giving up on all this, I didn't realize that my faith in God had disappeared. I lived a wild life of foolishness and excitement (according to humanity). Today I thank God for saving my life, and protecting me from falling off the edge and from suffering some major consequences of the life I was living. I was reckless and naive. Even though I did all those things and led that kind of life that is frowned upon, that does not define who I am today. I will never forget the choices I made, but I will always remember that God was with me loving and protecting me. I am His forever. My faith in Christ is stronger then I could ever imagine. I sometimes laugh because I find myself talking to God rather then praying and asking Him to do something for me, and I realize how much I enjoy a relationship with Him and I know He loves it even more. What this all comes down to, is that I dont fear my past, I dont fear my future, I know who I am and I am happy. Everything falls into place perfectly when we decide to let God lead our life. He is the driver and I am just along for the ride. I completely love that God wants to live through me. He lets me make decisions on my own, and when I choose Him, life couldn't be more perfect. so ... who are you? :D

Just so you know, I love you all SO much!!