Life Is Not A Right

Every day i fall more in step with the African lifestyle, and i am loving it. Although there are some things i miss about home and sometimes they and out more then others for example, road rules. Here in Uganda the driving is the one thing that has my nerves running, and my awareness on alert. It's one thing to mentally prepare yourself, or trying to shift you thinking that its something different for something you have never before experienced personally, its another thing to be in the midst of something you thought you prepared yourself for and be slapped in the face by reality. The roads are sometimes narrow and without sidewalks, covered by pedestrians and bicyclists carrying wide loads of anything from huge bags of coal to bags stuffed with some type of food to sheets of metal. The morning of Sunday the 27th, Momm and Papa, Robyn and I got ourselves ready for a day we hadn't prepared for. We were leaving Jinja for Kampala at 10am to be apart of the Dove Voice Band concert launching their new cd/dvd. The trip usually takes 2 to 2 and a half hours. That morning Momm had mentioned being nervous and not knowing why, also my stomach was not in the best mood either. Our driver is a friend to my talkative uncle Raoul. Papa started our trip out by reminding the driver, Joshua is his name, that we were not late and not in a hurry so don't drive fast. Many drivers here feel the need to pass every car moving in front of them not matter how slow or fast they are going. There are MANY close calls that i cant even begin to tell you. Just as we were on the bridge over the Nile, at the edge of town, a car started passing everyone which is definitely illegal on a bridge, everyone knows that. At the end of the bridge a bicyclist was getting on and the passer hit the bike knocking the man over the handle bars, but the man kept driving and kept passing. After that my eyes were wide open looking at every possible wreck happening right in front of us or to us, but nothing happened. When we first got into Kampala there was a boda (transportation on a motorcycle) on its side in a lane with that man still under it trying slowly to get himself steady and stand up. No one stopped and no one was there. This was my first experience so far seeing any wrecks. We came to a large round-about and Joshua started to turn left then Raoul instructed him to keep going around to the next turn, but he was a second too late, there was a man on his bike riding right next to us, only inches away from the car and just before the front tire he was knocked to the ground and we felt the van driving over something and all of us cringed at the thought that we had just drove over this man. We pulled over in the round-about. My thoughts were repeating themselves and hearing the crunching sound of whatever we drove over and the large bump he hit, and thought DEAR GOD DON'T LET THIS MAN BE DEAD! many of us felt sick to our stomachs. Come to find out we only drove over the front of the bike and the guy was somewhat fine. Instantly there was a large crowd of random people claiming they saw it but didnt say more then just that they saw it, causing unnecessary drama, and policemen already there and not doing anything about the crowd. Momm, Robyn, Raoul's sisters, and I sat in the van just waiting for about an hour. This all happened roughly at 12pm and the concert was set to start at 2pm. For a long time nothing was really happening except some arguing and some annoying bystanders yelling. Without any of us girls knowing what was going on we watched as the police truck put the biker in the back along with Joshua our driver, followed by Raoul on a boda. We were left without our driver and without our navigator. To add to our confusion a tow truck pulled right in front of us and hitched the van to the back of his truck without telling any of us to get out or telling us he was going to in the first place. Papa ended up having to pay 10,000 shillings ($5) to have him remove it. We found someone to drive us to the police station where we would be meeting the other guys as they made statements. We waited for almost 3 hours waiting in the hot van. Raoul and Joshua came from the hospital reporting that he had not broke anything and he would be just fine. We felt relieved but also ready for the whole ordeal to be over with. We ended getting at the concert a little after 4 and we were slightly surprised that the concert only just started, but also not surprised because that seems to be common. We had such an amazing time listening to these talented guys do what they do best, and not to mention they can dance like crazy, its quite the show. Momm and Papa even danced for the everyone. Later they dragged Momm, Robyn and I onto the stage to dance with them. I tell you, I hate that they do that because i start to panic, but once your up there its so fun! So we had a great time and even forgot about the earlier part of the day, until we were on the road again at 8pm. Both Papa and i were not feeling out best, he had a head ache and i felt like any swift movement and i was going to hurl whatever was in my body. But we arrived home safe and sound and ready for bed, after some reheating of leftover spaghetti. I have been feeling so grateful and blessed for grandparents who love us and take amazing care for us, and are also becoming some wonderful friends and close to heart. I am consistently being grateful for the life i live and the family i have and i am reminded that God is good ... simple as that :)

Week Two

So much is happening so fast i cant even process it let alone write it all down. I apologize for it taking so long to write another update. Recently the Oklahoma team left and so now things have calmed down a bit. We are cleaning the house, doing laundry, and fully settling into everyday life. relationships have grown so strongly so quickly it would be impossible to forget or lose. ill give and update of recent events. This last weekend was the busiest I have yet experienced. Friday night the Dove Voice Band came for dinner which is a group of about 20 guys who are refugees from the Congo. We had such a fun night. The shared their music and love with us. After a long night of intense praying and worship we sent them off into the night. The next morning they came for breakfast and we spent some good quality time with them. We worshiped some more and heard a word from their group paster Boris. After the boys left, the team, Robyn and I went on a boat ride the the source of the Nile. Beauty and diversity surrounded us. That night was somewhat relaxed and we spent the time with each other going over what we have seen and experienced. Just as dinner was served Momm arrived from shopping in Kampala with a girl named Maureen. Now, a while back I got a newsletter from Papa about this lady. Maureen worked at a shoe shop, and one day she found a baby boy in the alleyway abandoned. The boy was deathly ill. She took him to many doctors and found that he had TB. Here they say if you have TB then most likely you have HIV. Luckily this little one did not have HIV. Maureen took him everywhere to revive this child from sickness but all doctors would turn her down and tell her "this boy is going to die". She didnt give up and with that little faith she found a doctor to treat him. The doctor told her the boy was just starved and needed nourishment and give him to weeks to make him better. During those two weeks Maureen went on a search for the mother who left her son to die. After some time and with luck she found her in the village of Musese (muh-se-see). The thing about this village is that it is the poorest of poor in Jinja area. The women work little and bring home the food. The men sleep and drink and chat all day. The children make the beer for the men. She brought the boy whose name is Michael, back to his mother and the was so grateful to Maureen. The mother had left her son because she knew he would die and did not want to witness it. Maureen regularly goes to Musese and brings food or clothes or medicine, whatever she can to Michael and the people. Saturday night she told us her story and that she was going up there on Sunday and we were invited. The team came with medications and antibiotics that they gave to Maureen to give to this village. Sunday was or most fun filled day ever (slight sarcasm). We arrived at David and Sarah's church in Bugembe (boo-gem-bee) at 10:30. When we got into the van to leave church it was 2 o'clock. I will never complain about a long church service again! Mind you it was quite a blast to be there and see what a village church is like. When we got home about one hour later Maureen arrived and we went with her to Musese. For the past couple days i had been feeling sick and not really up for going out and doing much. When we got there my body went into an internal panic. The children come running up and hang on you, pull you to the ground, stick their hands in your pockets, rub your hands on their faces. I love kids and i was happy to see them, but the feeling of death and pain easily found its way into me. Instantly I wanted to leave and not go back. I felt my body hit a state of breaking into pieces by all forces that were pulling me. An old lady who was small and could be mistaken for a kid was going around and hugging everyone saying something to them in her own language. As soon as she latched onto Robyn, I saw her start pushing her off but trying to be somewhat polite. I watched as the old lady headed for me and i felt my mind start to blur. she was blind in one eye and walked crooked. She wrapped her arms around my stomach and bowing her head to my waist. i had no reaction strangely, i mean i didn't even hug her back. She back away but not far, and in my peripheral vision i saw her hands going for my pockets while she was still smiling and talking to my face, and when i saw that unconsciously I slapped her hand away and grabbed her shoulders and moved her back from me. She looked at me and started laughing nervously and then went to the next person. All this time tons of kids are all over me. I stood there for a second trying to think about why i did that, and how i did it without even thinking about it. I thought about what was in my pockets and reminded myself that nothing was in there. I stuck my hand in the pocket she was reaching for, which was one down by my knee, and i was reminded that i put my ipod in that pocket and i found it still there. I thought about how could she ever know it was there? or see it because she was partially blind and she was looking at my face? As we kept walking up the hill through all these small pathways by peoples mud homes you notice that your walking on their toilets, stepping on all kinds of messy things that would make a person like me mentally throw up and start gagging but i felt like i wasn't even conscious of what I was thinking or feeling. We stopped where Maureen went to look for Michael. There was a little baby boy probably only 1yr if that, who was laying on the ground and people crowding around him because he was sick and had an injury on his head or neck, im not sure. There was an older lady sitting in the doorway of the house right next to this little baby. I could feel eyes on me and when i looked at her she looked to be in her 50's maybe. I noticed she was starring at me and for some reason i couldn't look away, not that it was impossible but i didn't want to. I smiled at her and she smiled at me so i decided to walk over where she was, as hard as it was with all the kids i went over to her and held her hand for a short second then got on my knees and hugged her. I felt a wave of emotion wash over me and it felt like it was coming from her. Once i hugged her i felt her body relax and she hugged so tight. I was so content there with her. When i pulled away she looked to be on the edge of crying. Neither one of us said anything. I held her hand as long as I could before the kids ere begging for my attention. When i got up to leave I smiled at her and she was grinning right back. It seemed like gradually there were tons of kids showing up the more time we stayed there. My panic was back in motion and when I looked back at the doorway the woman was gone and I thought as many happy thoughts and prayers as I could for her. On our way down the hill i could feel myself wanting to run into the van but i tried staying as calm as possible. So many dirty hands were touching me and i started to feel extreme amounts more sick then before. When we got to the bottom and waited for the van to turn around i noticed the one girl who stayed by my side the whole time (at least i think it was a girl) and she grabbed my hand and held it so tight and surprisingly she said "me come" like 3 times. I ended up having to pull her hand of mine, strong little kid. I thought she was going to cry, and when we started to drive away she did, and they were all sticking their hands in the windows and shaking our hands. It was SO strange how much i needed to leave that place but a part of me wanted to stay or at least bring some people with me. When we were away i felt my mind and body completely relax and I didn't feel sick anymore. That night we went out for dinner at 2 Friends and it was good to relax and eat and laugh with the team, Robyn, and Momm and Papa, and Peter our other teammate/driver/language teacher. The next couple days we all worked hard on our project of cleaning the house, painting the school in Bukeeka, and building desks. Wednesday the girls went to the childrens hospital. Then we went to a baby cottage orphanage. The team left Thursday night and we had a wonderful time with them :D The past few days we have been taking things slow and cleaning the house. I feel blessed to be where I am, even though sometimes I struggle with some things. Right now I am missing my siblings Ricky, Quint, and Hunter LOTS and obviously I miss mommy and daddy ha. I have never been good at being gone from those people for long periods of time. Truth is being here with Momm and Papa has been AMAZING and they have made it much easier to gone from home because they are apart of our home. God has blessed for sure. If at some point you feel like you can i would ask that you pray for it to be a little easier for Robyn and I to be away from at such a time in our lives. Thanks :D

I love you ALL SSOOOOO much you don't even know!

A Story to Tell

I am finding out that we all have a story to tell. Whether its good or bad it is unique in its own special way as we are all very different and unique in our own selves. Since the team from Oklahoma has been here i see them more as a family then just a group from the same town. The past couple nights Papa has invited a guest to come and share their life story and how the became born again. Here in Uganda, there is a difference in being a Christian and being born again. Christians are people who go to church regularly and call themselves religious, and when you are born again then you actually have a personal relationship with God and actually live the life you preach to others. So far we have had some incredible people with incredible pasts that have cultivated their lives and brought them to who they are today. Tonight our cook Grace, shared her story with the girls from the team and one of the guys, the rest were on their way home from Kampala. When she was finished one of the girls suggested that we start sharing our story in return. All 10 team members took their turn in sharing part of their life with us. Some weren't easy and i congratulate them for opening up to all of us. I chose not to share my story, partly because i felt young still and there wasn't much to tell, but also because i feel i have been through too much for my age and i haven't yet resolved it with myself, others, or God. I find that i am in a fight with myself and God. Sometimes i feel like God is right there and i am trusting him and seeing him and believing in him. Other times i feel like this whole God thing is not real and just a creation of our minds. This fight in me has been thrown in my face since being here. I feel like this place brings everything in myself out and i cant ignore it or put it away. Things are changing and i have no idea if i am changing with it or not. If i were to tell my story, most would be disappointed because there is no happy ending to it, or the ending that most would want to hear. Someday i will take the time to tell my story. This morning around 6:30 we had a minor earthquake. When Momm was asking us about it she was describing it and i thought i missed it, but then Robyn and i realized we thought it was the other person shaking the bunk bed restlessly. Tomorrow Robyn, Momm and i will be going with Raoul to a village and see what he does. It has been busy with the team being here, and its good :). Its been a long hard working day for everyone so bed is looking pretty good. Today was a great day, and i know there are many more to come!

Bukeeka

Sunday is the day for praise. We took a van to the village of Bukeeka (said like Boo-kay-ku) for church. The drive was a good amount of time and beautiful but bumpy. When we arrived we were late, but thats the slowness of Africa speaking. everyone takes their time and enjoys every moment. Robert (their paster and man who started the school) seated us at the front to face the crowd. All the children stared at us. The African people are not shy and they always stare because we are white and they like us. Today Derek was our preacher and he was very passionate about it. They all are so free in their passion and love for God. In an american church you don't see the pastor jumping up and down when he preaches or sweat because he is practically yelling the entire sermon. They feel so strongly about their beliefs and they aren't afraid to show it in ways that an american would say is crazy and embarrassing. The kids were so interested in us, and they would stare even when you looked at them. One girl would look down every time i looked at her and i would smile. It was so unusual for me to see a kid be shy and not look at me when i acknowledged her. Later on she stood by me for a long time and would let me put my hand on her shoulder or rub her arm or back. She has the sweetest smile i have ever seen. During the service another little girl who was maybe 2 or 3 im guessing, did not take her eyes off me. After church we were greeted by everyone. There were tons of kids and they made rounds of greetings. i probably shook the same hands 3 times. When they would greet us they would get on their knees as a sign of respect. when they kneeled i would kneel with them because they were so little. Our group decided to walk around the school because it was knew and the were doing renovations. The kids would grab our hands as we walked and they ALL followed. As i started walking i felt a tiny hand slip into mine. I looked down and noticed it was the little girl who was staring at me during the whole sermon. When i looked down at her i smiled and she smiled back at me. It was a tiny smile and not the big grin you usually get. She walked with me the whole time and stayed very close to me. She had stolen my heart so quick and easy. When my sister or another person from our group would come up to her or smile at her she would stand behind my leg. I felt my heart grow, and i felt strange inside. When all the kids were looking at pictures of one of the group members, she looked at them then looked at me and i knew she was asking so we walked together. When the time came to leave i wanted to bring her with me more then anything. i got on my knees to say goodbye and she hugged my neck so tight and i felt tears begin in my throat. I kissed her on the forehead and held her hands for a little bit. She grinned so big i couldn't help but grin with her. When i walked away she looked like she was going to cry. My heart stays with her always. She never talked to me but she didnt have to. I am praying for her constantly because during our walk i found out she was VERY sick. She had a really bad cough, not a cold cough but one that tears your lunges. She was feverish too. I would give everything to be able to take care of that little girl and bring her home with me. We plan on going back there soon so i hope to see her and love her some more.

Week One

When my sister Robyn and I arrived with our grandparents we had no expectations for what we would encounter or see in this land. When we went to the vista station the man there said he would give 100 cows to marry me. Most the time they are joking around but if you give any indication that you would consider they will jump right on it and be all seriousness. There are so many cultural differences and im loving it. Grace (the cook) is a wonderful and funny girl. She is fun to be around. My aunt Sera is most definitely special to me and close at heart. She is a very hard worker. today ill tell you Sera Kasonga's story. When she was a young girl she lived with her aunt and uncle and cousins in Rwanda in the time of destruction. She was only a child when the bad people came in and broke her family. The men tortured her uncle and made him watch as they raped his wife and daughters then killed his wife, then beheaded the uncle. This whole time Sera and her younger cousins are being forced to stay and watch as well. Her older cousins were put into bags and thrown into the waters. one of her cousins had escaped and found little Sera and her little cousins. The few of them walked from Rwanda to Uganda without water or food. Today Sera lives in her own home and has provided a home for 16 boys whom she took off the streets and pulled them from the life of thieving, molestation, disease, and starvation. Sera Kasonga has become a hero of mine. She is the most loving woman i know. She has a heart for people and God. I do apologize for the detailed graphicness, but this is a reality and there is no nice way to say the truth about peoples lives. So many of these people have a story full of darkness and despair. I ask that you keep them all in thought and prayer.