Right now I sit on a comfortable black leather couch, watching my mother and two sisters watch a show they love. All I can think of is how blessed I am for this moment. I have more then I need. I don't need a couch, a tv, a house, sisters to laugh with, or a mother that loves me. What I need is Jesus Christ, and everything beyond that is undeserving and a major blessing.
I want to share with all of you, what this transition in my life is like. My first transitional moment was when I decided to travel to the other side of the world and live in Africa for a period of time. It was incredibly easy for me to adapt to the culture and lifestyle. Before I went I decided to have no expectations of what it would be like or how I would feel. Growing up, there was a part of me that was always lost. I always felt somewhat out of place, never entirely fitting in with the crowd, or place. Living in Uganda, I found that small part of myself feeling free and easily welcomed. I don't mean to say that life was perfect and total paradise, but I found a part of my spirit that I have been separated from for a long time. There are many circumstances that are hard to live with, and it was difficult at first to be comfortable with the lifestyle and live without the material things we Americans are so accustomed to. However, I loved every moment of it. After a while I even began to find common ground with the cockroaches, I mean they need a home too right? My heart was completely full.
Robyn and I had a challenging task in leaving Africa. When the time came to say our goodbyes, we couldn't hold back the tears of sadness. It was hard to say goodbye to the people who so easily loved us for who we were. They had seen the growth and maturing of our hearts, for they had been part of the influence. Our aunt Sera has been a great encourager to us. She has spent many hours of many days with us just sharing life and opening our hearts with each other. Our uncle Jeff has loved us so deeply and inspired me to grow up in various ways. He is so much apart of us. Now, not to put anyone higher then the other, but I believe that God used members of the Dove Voice Band to do some huge healing in our hearts, to say the least. Since our trip to Western Uganda, they have become our brothers in a serious way. Each one of them have taught me something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. God used them in my life in such a profound way. I have a new openness that I have never experienced.
When Robyn and I were in the air headed for the US, we couldn't help but be sad to leave. It was one of the first times I had seen my sister let herself cry out all that she wanted and needed to cry out. The strange thing was that I could not cry. Right now I can't really describe the feelings I was sorting through at that moment. I had just said goodbye to a place I called home. This is where my life met a turning point, where my redemption began, the place I found my biggest transformation. My heart was sad to say goodbye, but I felt the excitement in returning to my home in the US. The combination of emotions created a slight confusion for me. I knew I was excited to see my family, friends, and be in my home town. I was expectant of how life would be different because I am different. I had pictured the things I would do, places to go, and people to see. I was prepared for only what I knew to be. My grandma said at a youth service "you don't know what you don't know". I now realized that coming back, there was much I did not know and I was wildly unprepared for tests in life I was about to face.
to be continued...
